Getting in front of your ideal client

Hello, Vivienne Joy here, and today I want to talk about your ideal client and being in front of them. Somebody once messaged me and said, “Vivienne, you don’t half make this look easy”. So I’ve made this look easy, which is a massive compliment, but I am a trained speaker and of course, I’ve been doing this a very long time. Please don’t judge yourself by anyone else. You don’t know the story, you don’t know what they put into it, you don’t know what they’re thinking or feeling. And actually, I’ve got a friend who was sick before she goes on stage every time. Like she’s proper, nervous but you wouldn’t know because by the time she gets on the stage, she’s been through her ritual of being sick. And in fact, I remember somebody telling me that there was a singer who wets herself before because she literally can’t hold her bladder. So all sorts of things are going on with people. 

But not for me – none of those things are going on. The reason that I can sit in front of a camera and record my many videos and do my many trainings, is because I imagine I’m sitting talking to somebody. I imagine I’m sitting talking to three people, this is how my brain does it. Somebody said, “can you explain how I can do that”. And actually, the person that asked me is an NLP trainer as well, so it was a beautiful, very big compliment. And she said, “I want to model it”. 

What is modelling?

Modelling is understanding how somebody does something, uncoding it, and doing it yourself. So for example, I often get people code confidence for me – I actually had someone tell me “you can’t possibly be that confident, it’s a front”, which is hilarious. It’s like, okay, whatever your belief system is, but actually, there is something that you can do to make sure you have it for yourself. And there’s a lot of state work goes on in that. I do a lot of this work in my Mastermind, making sure you maintain your state and how you create a state. And you’ve probably heard those things, especially if you’ve done any work with some of the bigger players in the world like Brendon Burchard, Tony Robbins.

Anyway, to be able to do all of my visible work, I pretend I’ve got three of my clients with me, and I’m just having a conversation and telling them this stuff. That’s how I do it. I used to run a lot of networking and I’ve been to networking, and if you do, you watch everybody else terrified and nervous, and there’ll be one that seems to have their shit together and are amazing and you’re sitting there going, “oh, my God, what was I gonna say?”. I actually think it’s easier online because you can have it typed out and you can read it, although it’s not as impactful. But most of us are not listening to what anyone else is saying, we’re just thinking about what we’re going to say, we’re getting flushed, dry mouthed, losing focus. 

So what I realised is if you’re too focused on the future, you won’t be focused on the now. I know I talk about focusing on the future but there are times you have to focus and be in the moment. And so the best way to get over this yourself is to focus on what other people, what they are saying, and not on yourself at all. And then when it comes to you, don’t practise, don’t rehearse, just open your mouth and start speaking, and I tell you what, you’ll be amazed what comes out.

Practice makes perfect

Practice it, practice it. And the reason I know you can do this! When you go anywhere else, like to the pub, or you go out with friends, you don’t practice what you’re going to say. You don’t think worry about how you’re going to come across. You just show up as you and you’re the one they like, you’re the one they connect with because they understand what it’s like. And even if you just said, “oh god, I don’t know what to say”, they will connect with that too. And so my trick is not even a trick. I just don’t think about it. And I know if I start to think about it, I start to feel a bit nervous. You have to believe you’re going to say the right thing. You know your name. You know what you do? You know who you are? You possibly know who you do it for. What else? What do you need to rehearse? Some of you like to be really planned and organised, I get that. But it doesn’t come across the same. 

No one expects perfection from you

No one expects you to have the delivery of an actual public speaker. No one expects you to have a fantastic sales pitch as if you’re selling from the stage. There’s a lot of pressure that you’re putting on yourself in that time. Just be you and show up. Be nice, be authentic. Just speak and trust that what comes out of your mouth is because you know who you are, you know what you do, you know who you do it for. 

I think somewhere along the line, we’ve been taught that we have to have really snazzy straplines with, I know we have to close with this, and we have to have things like, “so if you’re interested in knowing…”. No-one speaks like that anymore. It’s very 90s. It’s very 2000s. It’s definitely not 2022. 

So that’s my gift to you. Imagine being in front of your ideal clients, three of them…maybe people that you get on well with, that you’re having a nice chilled conversation. Imagine you’re just having a conversation. It’s not about a presentation. It’s not about a call to action. It’s not about any of those things. It’s just about getting the message across and sounding like a real person – an authentic person. And if you do that, people will start to come towards you, people will like you. We never want the finished version of anything and none of us have the finished version anyway, and even if we were to ourselves, we wouldn’t be to someone else. So the whole thing is just a mess in our minds, isn’t it? And I hope that’s helped you. If you need any help with that, you know where I am and I look forward to helping you with your future.

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